BAND BewareAvoid New Director
by MuggleMagic
Summary: My freshman year in High School band, and how I SWEAR it was all my band directors fault for my injuries. Basically, stories of Band, the ones so funny, you had to be there to get it, so i'll take you there.. REVEWS ARE WELCOME!
1. Band Camp1

A/N Just some stories about my freshman year in Band.... all are true.. some might, MIGHT be stretched to the point of almost a lie.. just remember, the boosters are evil, were always evil,and will always be evil. Tutu is their leader. i have changed almost everyones name.. cos i figure if they find this.. they'll want a good laugh. happy reading.  
  
Band Camp  
  
This one time.... at band camp...  
  
"Briana?" I said to my roomie, my best friend.. my partner in crime. "What floor are we on?"  
  
"Oh.. " She said, looking at our folder of info. "Three."As we walked up the stairs, we were greeted by a numerous amount of people going to search for their rooms. When we arrived on the third floor (why us!? why THREE?) Mrs. Tied was standing at the top, with her arms crossed and a smug look on her face. She was a booster, evil as they come. She had hated my family and I since I entered the school system and stole section leader away from her daughter-who had no reason being section leader.. 9th grade and cant play an Eb scale... what crack was the director on then!?--and why didn't he share?!. Well, Mrs. Tied did this thing with her shoulders, she thought she was the shit-she wasn't.  
  
I should inform you, that Briana and myself are the worlds biggest klutz's. We tripped about four or five times on the way upstairs. We unpacked and went down to the field..practiced.. blah blah blah.. and went to bed. Also, I should inform you, that the seniors, nearly every one of them (about 12) were some of my closest friends, but I will never forgive them for what they did that night. Briana and I sleep like rocks, we hear nothing-except drums.  
  
Around three in the morning, Briana and I woke to the sound of drums. I was on the bottom bunk, and Bria, the top. At sound of the drums, I thought a bomb went off. I jumped up, needless to say, hit my head on the bunks, and ran out side.. in my boxers and t-shirt, with my cute little stuffed animal in hand. (15 and sleeps with stuffed animals.. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?!) Right outside our door, were the seniors. Soon after the drum cadence, the rest came in with their part in-some song, I was too groggy to remember what, when I saw her.  
  
Her name is Tutu, evilest of all the boosters. She thinks she's in charge, is hated by everyone, and tells lies about every student-because she's "better than them." She tried yelling at the seniors, who were merrily playing-lalala- and I decided to go to my room, I'd get them back somehow..I walked back into my room, and Briana was lying on the floor, kinda motionless. She looked up at me, and said she thought she broke her ankle-tyring to jump off the bunk because the noise scared her shitless. Rule One- if you fall down alot, don't jump off of a bunk bed, injuries are likely.  
  
The first injury..and it wasn't me! ::happy dance:: No, I was the second one.  
  
This other time- at band camp....  
  
Julie and I sat in my room, LeAnne was sleeping in hers. We ate the food and cans of cheese my Mom had packed for me. We were also throwing rits crackers out the window. Well, you know how your brain gets confused because you want it to do more than one thing? Well, I really really wanted the cheese in a can that was on the window sill, and I also wanted to hit dorkface down there with a cracker. Lifting my arm, not knowing where it was going, I swing it right into the corner of the window, the sharp metal part.  
  
OMG did it hurt. I grabbed it as hard as I could and ran around the dorm floor a couple times, to keep myself from screaming. Getting back to my room, I flung myself on the bed and started laughing.. Julie just looked at me and said, "God Isabelle, it was just cheese in a can!" After a while, it stopped hurting.-that bad. I removed my hand from the grasp on my arm, and it was a nice shad of purple with about a two inch cut on it. Pretty red blood flowing from it. I ran downstairs, to get a band aid, or whatever, and the lady in charge of all that stuff-an evil booster- asked me to move my arm. It didn't move. Well, that makes my roomie and I, the first two ever to go to the hospital at band camp. Oh it was horrible. I didn't start crying until I was told I couldn't march. Band faggish enough for you.  
  
Well, ofcourse I marched, I wasn't there for nothing! And played botchi too. Pain killers are nice. Very nice.  
  
A/N Well, those are the two stories I think are good enough about band camp. It really sucked. Got my senior friends back with a little kick ass botchi. Can't do much with a bruised bone-oh yes, it wasn't broken, leave it to me to do everything BUT break it. Trip to Canada, Local Band Show, and Dixie Classic trip yet to come. Ofcourse.. with the funny things here and there.. in band. Just remember... Brass has the word ass in it, because, in the musical body, they are the ass. REVIEW! 


	2. Band Camp2

A/N Back again!! thanks for ALL of the wonderful reviews...::long silence:: oh wait!! there werent any!!!!!! :-( tear.. i guess i'll have to come hunt you all down....well, here's some more of camp...enjoy  
  
This one time.. on the marching field.  
  
It was a hot day (ofcourse it was!! its BAND CAMP!! it's ALWAYS hot!!) on the field of hell, and we all stood in our concert set for song two of show one.. winds on one side.. brass and sax on anothr.. and might i say.. it was a fine day for some ass. I mean brass.  
  
Our five minute break really wasn't a break. It was satanding there, i'n our spots. waiting for something interesting to happen. We waited long enough.  
  
Seniors, (and regretfully friends of mine) Sean and Bret were our preformers, and the band, the audiance.  
  
Sean was always the goofball the joker funny as hell. Standing at attnetion, Fly, our director, with is head turned, and the whole band's eyes on Bret's shorts.  
  
Sean snuck up behind him, nothing new,and layed two hands on Bret's shorts.. oh wait.. he let go.. they were at Bret's ankles. Oh and what do you know... so were his boxers.  
  
(A/N I swear this happened!! NO JOKE!! not stretched at all)  
  
Took Bret no time to realize something was missing, he pulled his pants, and cute little teddy bear boxers up. His face matched his hair... very red. i never wanna see that ever again... but i know a few clarinet and flags who were very turned on.  
  
Stupid Flaggets.  
  
And this Other time... NOT on the marching field....  
  
"Ok, " said Bria, " We have from now until eleven to ourselfs, what should we do?" It was 730, and we had just finished marching. Days of hell with evil boosters had passed, and we had broken as many rules as we could, without getting seriously in trouble.  
  
The campus we were on was very boring. The pool; too far away, the store: next to the pool, evil boosters: should be thrown in the pool, drowned, and kept there, because its far away.  
  
We had gained another companion on our walk, Jewly. Making our way behind our dorms..we saw a very nicely tilted hill, perfect for rolling.  
  
But not so fast, damn evil *&^%#*# Luzadrish booster came strolling up the hill.. thinking, her shit didnt stink,.. and oh my goodness it did... she was a floor away. and we could STILL smell it!  
  
Banished to Flymans office/room, we were very happy to be on the boys floor. When he came in.. he looked at us and asked why we were there..  
  
"we were standing on the hill behind the dorms-"  
  
"and as you KNOW that's a sin-"  
  
"we should be banished to hell forever-"  
  
"wait Izzy!! We're already there!"  
  
the three of us just looked at our director. he looked back. oh can you hear the western music playing. oh wait, it was Josh.. ...  
  
Stupid Trumpets....  
  
He just looked, and told us to leave....  
  
Stupid Director....  
  
So we wandered back to our hill. it was now sacred. We threw off our shoes. layed down -(next to each other!! PERVS!) and rolled. It was GREAT!! better than boob sex!!(to be explained on a later trip)  
  
Rolling down four more times and so, it was dark enough for us to haul our grass covered selfs to our dorm rooms.... oh wow did i itch.. i forgot a slight issue... i was allergic to grass (still am) all red and covered with hives... a real laugh tolook at i bet.  
  
Well, needless to say cortozone became my best friend that night. Dont you see how it was all flys fault for sending us back out into the wild.. with tutu running around!! and Turning his back on the band while bj got de- pantsed!! (ok, not my injury.. but funny as HELL!)  
  
Comment, or i might just have to send my crazy raid band director on you, you wouldnt want that,.. now would you!!! Rule Two: stupid trumpets. 


	3. Camp and Game1

Oh thank you OH SO MUCH for your reviews! cookies to all of you!! I havent updated in a while.. cos.. BAND CAMP STARTED!!! Well.. here goes some more of freshman year...  
  
The Last Band Camp Story....  
  
Thursday night. The night of all nights. Time to show off our progress in learning Johnny B. Goode, My Sharona, and Chameleon. We worked our asses off that week, and earlier that day, we went over Rockin Robin for the first time.  
  
Being the awesomest piccolo player I am, I managed to nearly break my arm during free time that day, and had no time to practice. The shooooooooooow began, We played Johnny B. Goode, and stood firmly in our absolutly perfect wonderful- ok we stood still.. Flyman, our director, walks through the ranks, saying "rockin robin.." Well, who knew this song we had just practiced four hours earlier?? Andy the tuba. Yep Rockin Robin was a tuba solo that night. Beautiful Beautiful...  
  
Well, it turns out the flaggets were responsable for that one. They wanted to show off their routine for it..  
  
Stupid Flaggets...  
  
And then we went home. I slept the bus ride home.. but im almost positive no one stuck gum in my hair.. not like band kids would do that...  
  
(A/N Time for football games....here they come!!)  
  
Thursday night rehersals were a common thing during my freshman year of band. Every thursday from 630-830 pm, we'd be out bustin our asses for fridays game.  
  
This rehersal started out like any other. Warm up b-flat scale, and alma mater. That was about all that was normal to it. When i arrived in the band room, a young and innocent freshman, it was getting dark, rain was comming... whooo that happens in Ohio dontya know.  
  
The door opens and one of the less-evil boosters walks in, and you hear this faint C# in the background... "Uhh... Mr Flyman... the tornado sirens are going off."  
  
She looked at us as if she expected us to jump out of our skin and run for the hills!!! But this is Ohio people, Tornados happen. But for the stupider freshman.. it was obivously a new thing, because they jumped up,put their horns down.. and headed for the door when- "HEY!" uh oh.. got Flyman mad now..."Where do you think youre going!?! Get back to your seat, and grab your horn!"  
  
Oh, come on people! You'll run to save your five dollar street coner ass, but you leave a $3000 insturment at your seat! I think not. Well, somehow we managed all to fit into the atruin between the choir and band room.. im not sure how.. but we're the magics.. maybe it was a magic trick...  
  
Well, we lived, obviously. No tornado. Leave it to Ohio.  
  
Well.. the Next day....  
  
FOOOOOOOOOOTBAAAAAAAAAAAL!! Our first game of the season was away at a place we'll call Westview (any Funky Winkerbean readers out there??) The whole day it was kind of overcast... a little windy.  
  
That night., we unloaded the trucks, and sat in the stands. Now, i dont know about you, but holding a big metal rod in this weather didnt exactly look inviting. We were watching the other team play their alma mater when you hear..... *high C#* and "Please excuse this interuption.. but there has been a tornado warning issued for our county until 9 o'clock tonight, please take shelter."  
  
Oh, nice.  
  
Stupid trumpets. (yes i blame the trumpets...)  
  
So where do the evil boosters put us? Guess. The Busses. ok, tornado warning, funnel cloud spotted 5 miles away. Lets stick a 90 piece band on thier busses with hundreds of thousands of dollars in insturments with them.  
  
Damn boosters.  
  
The sirens went down... then up.. then down.. then up.. then my mommy got on the bus and told us to run. Yay for my mommy.  
  
Well, we're stripping out of our raincoats and running of the bus. Ohh,.. look at that pretty dark swirly thing.  
  
Damn trumpets.  
  
You'll never guess where they stuck the band. The Westview locker rooms. Here ya go, great picture. The away band in the home teams locker room. I would have paid someone to paint it.  
  
The football team on one side, all praying foir good weather and the game to be reschedualed, and the band.. playing Euchre and bullshit.  
  
In the bands 30 year history, they had never had anything like this. Its gone through nearly 10 directors.. and not ONE had this luck.  
  
Damn Flyman. Trying to kill us by means of weather.  
  
Again, we lived.. but that wasnt it. You think it takes two Tornado warning to stop MY band!? NOPE. takes three. Stay tuned for the next episode of Band.  
  
This has been brought to you by donations through the -- wait, what do you mean they took their donation back! We clearly said no take backs!! GAH!  
  
*High C#* please hold.... 


End file.
